really what the hell is going on?
the new year has came
ok i found the opportunity to visit deviantart since then for the first time but (i dont know what sort of grammer this sentence has but i hope it gives the main idea) no good news at all.

world crumbling down really

the economic crisis, the war and all that unending horror show all around the world

and i cant even think about them lately becouse of my silly problems

before this month ends i have to find a very cheap place to rent
but still has to be a bit trustable place to put my atelier stuff and continue working...
and the funny thing is that is the real deal
i didnt recieve any new work for 2 weeks and totally ran out of money and also in debt to bank and some people

if this situation continues
i will be homeless in two - three weeks
so yes i really hate the world the way it is right now
(even though i still love life itself it is pretty painful itself right now)
today i thought of not buying a bread for tomorrows breakfast

still i am thankful to god that i have cheese and tea in my house
(my house?)
but being in a situation that i have to think hard before buying a bread
that really pisses me off

it is also funny that i have cellphone internet lots of painting stuff etc etc but starving and could be homeless in several weeks


i am really tired of this unending fall that never ended in lately years

i spent months of time with 6 to 8 hours of sleep per week (yes not per day) i prepared many projects, many artworks, many unique stuff, half of them unpaid, other bought for very low pricing also some family-size disaster hapenned in the proccess
and lately ive been living in a ever worsing nightmare then what happened; business stopped!

it is like a diabolic parody

and then i hear about the stuff going on Gaza
then i think of people becoming homeless, losing friends and
dying, they are even in worse situation then me
and this only makes my sadness grow...
makes my anger grow...

even i do hate being selfish
in this situation i cant spent my very very shortened time for anything other than my own f...ng problems

if anyone has anything that can help (for example a job that pays good for a short period of work) i will be glad to hear or see.

this may be amongst my last journal entries
or even the last one itself

or you will see my non-concerning-anyone journal entries some weeks or months later again

so take care of yourselves
try to stay cool
visit the links in my sig.